campkilkare: (life decisions)
T. Oso ([personal profile] campkilkare) wrote2011-12-24 12:23 am

(no subject)

I was having a talk with [personal profile] vivien tonight, and I realized some of the stuff I was saying I should be saying to all of you guys, as well. So I am going to type it up.

I am really lucky to be alive. And I know that, and I am glad. And it is amazing to feel that way. For... I don't even know how long, I have been troubled intermittently by Dark Thoughts. I have wished I was dead. And now that it would be really easy--2 seconds later on the road, landed differently, a slightly heavier car hitting me--I don't. I don't at all. I am glad I am alive.

Part of it is just the magic and clarity of the near-death experience, I guess. But a big part of it was that, well, the support network I have worked. My insurance has taken great care of me. My roommates visited and got me home when it was time. The girl I have been seeing visited, and took me to get my new glasses, and we hung out and watched Community on Hulu here and Blow on DVD at her place and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind at the Alamo; the whole time (each time) I couldn't turn my head to look at her, but she was always there. You guys--you guys--have been so, so great. I have gotten stuff in my mail and in my email and over Twitter and IM that made me cry. Shawn and I have talked, without missing a stride, as we always do no matter how many years or events come between us. My family has been on the phone; and my mom played it really cool while I told her the details, and then when she moved the phone away and before she hung up I heard her wail outloud.

I do not need to do the love meme, because I know I am loved. I am loved, and I am lucky to have been touched as lightly as I was, and I am glad to be alive.

Details, since I have been sparing with them: I was heading home around 12, down 7th Street downtown, when I was hit in an intersection. Concussion means I don't remember anything beyond getting on the scoot in the parking lot, but my insurance says they are waiting for the police report and to hear back from the other driver; so far they have only heard for his mother, who says it was my fault. Scooter was totalled; when I asked for my keys, they said no one bothered to retrieve them because the scooter was on fire.

I was in the hospital 4 days (and racked up 57k in bills, which insurance brought down to a much more manageable 4k). I had four stitches on my elbow, strained tendons and lightly cracked bones in my neck, and bruises EVERYWHERE. The stitches are out, my neck is a lot better but I have to wait to see my neurosurgeon before I can take the cervical collar off, and the bruises seem to be multiplying. My body has turned into an alarm clock that goes off every six hours; thank you pain meds.

I am on disability leave until January 12th, soonest; I get paid for 32 hours a week. My benefits from HEB are SOLID, you guys. They take the hell care of us. I might go home, if me and my family between us can put the cash together, since I'm not working. That would be nice.

In other news, Least Liked Roommate is moving out, to be replaced by Unknown Quantity Buddy of the Landlord :| is how I feel about that. I am seeing a girl. I am roleplaying a lot, and drawing some, and reading a shitload on my Kindle. I think I have read every Nero Wolfe book that available as an ebook. And I am sleeping lots. Lots. Which I should do pretty soon, I guess.


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