campkilkare: (Default)
T. Oso ([personal profile] campkilkare) wrote2011-01-19 02:00 pm

(no subject)

CRABSPRITE: WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, SHITHEAD??
KARKAT: WHERE DO YOU THINK, I HAVE TO BAIL OUT ONE OF MY ASSHOLE FRIENDS AGAIN
KARKAT: WHAT ARE ALL THESE GODDAMN TURTLES DOING IN HERE?

CRABSPRITE: THEY'RE TAKING SHELTER OBVIOUSLY
CRABSPRITE: THE DENIZENS ARE WAKING

KARKAT: I KNOW, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO GO
CRABSPRITE: NO, IT'S WHY WE HAVE TO STAY
CRABSPRITE: YOU'RE THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD
CRABSPRITE: THE BLOOD-DIMMED TIDE IS LOOSED
CRABSPRITE: THE CENTER WILL NOT HOLD
CRABSPRITE: YOU HAVE TO BE HERE WHEN THE CANCER AT THE HEART OF YOUR WORLD COMES HERE
CRABSPRITE: IT'S YOUR DESTINY, DUMBASS

KARKAT: LOOK SHOVE IT, I'LL BE BACK
KARKAT: AND I WILL KICK THE SHIT UP WHATEVER KIND OF RETARDED THING THIS SHITHOLE HAS IN STORE
KARKAT: THIS IS A FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD

CRABSPRITE: IT IS COMING
KARKAT: WOW HAHA ALL THE YEARS I WISHED YOU COULD SPOUT VAGUE OMINOUS DUMBASSERY AND NOW MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE AT LAST, IF ONLY I HAD MORE TIME TO STAND AROUND AND SOAK UP THE HORSESHIT
CRABSPRITE: JUST HURRY DIPSHIT
KARKAT: I WILL, JEGUS, GET OFF MY BULGE
CRABSPRITE: DON'T DIE NUMB NUBS
KARKAT: FUCK YOU YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO D:B
KARKAT: STUPID OLD CRAB
KARKAT: OKAY ENOUGH OF THAT THE CONSORTS ARE STARING


AT: kANAYA, uHH
AT: wAIT

GA: Tavros Im Glad To See You Are Awake
GA: Finally
GA: Unfortunately It Has Come A Little Late And I Need To Be About Your Business
GA: Looking After Your Client

AT: i KNOW
AT: i, uHH, sAW IT
AT: iN A CLOUD
AT: i SAW A LOT OF THINGS

GA: How Nice For You
GA: I Myself Haven't Slept In Some Time
GA: Breeding All These Fucking Frogs
GA: And So On

TA: uHHH
TA: yEAH
TA: sO
TA: pLEASE STAY IN YOUR WORLD AND I WILL COME TO YOU
TA: wITH MY ROCKETCHAIR
TA: i'M, uHH, aLREADY ON MY WAY
TA: aND YOU NEED TO ALCHEMIZE SOMETHING

GA: You Saw This
TA: yES
TA: wELL, uHH, nO
TA: i SAW YOU MAKE IT
TA: nOT WHAT IT IS
TA: i THINK ITS A WEAPON

GA: I See
TA: jUST, uHH, cOMBINE THIS CODE WITH YOUR WEAPON
TA: !ROYGBIV
GA: ...
GA: This Is An Absolutely Preposterous Amount Of Grist

TA: wELL
TA: uHH
TA: iF WE WIN, WE WILL HAVE PLENTY OF GRIST
TA: aND IF NOT

GA: Yes I See
GA: Please Hurry, In Any Case

TA: i AM
TA: uHHH
TA: iS, hE MAD?
TA: kARKAT

GA: I Dont Understand The Question
TA: uHH
GA: You Seem To Be Implying That There Exists Some Possible Course Of Events Wherein Our Leader Is Not Infuriated
TA: hAHA
GA: But To Answer Your Question
GA: I Believe He Is Operating Near The Theoretical Upper Limit Of His Fury Matrix
GA: If Such A Limit Exists
GA: Which I Doubt

TA: oH }:/


He hacks and slashes his way through the acrobats, the sparkling females in the feathers and tights with the razor-blade smiles; lops the head off the bearded lady, punts the tiny man, cuts the tall one off at the knees, and then the elephants come at him. It's actually not {i]that[/i] hard after all the 12x-prototyped imps and ogres and basilisks. He gets trampled a little, but he shoves the musclebeast off his chest and rolls to his feet, bringing back the sickle, when something cracks and his whole arm goes numb. He's ripped off his feet and rolled through the sawdust, the panicked clowns honking and milling about miserably on the edges of the three rings.

The ringmaster has come.

He's kicked by the thigh-high boots, booted around the big top and lashed silly, the big man in the top hat roaring abuse at him with every crack of the black inches of his whip. A tiger lands on his head, worries him a little, throws him to the gorilla, who pins him down.


RINGMASTER: You! You are not the Bard!
KNIGHT: NOPE
KNIGHT: I'M THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD
KNIGHT: NICE TO MEET YOU FUCKASS


The Ringmaster slaps him across the face; he's not as big as Karkat expected, but the power in his arm is incredible. Karkat blinks in the murk of the Big Top, lit by torches shining off the piles of grist that are heaped everywhere and tile everything; he realizes with queasy horror that the performers he decimated are still alive, staggering about, putting themselves back together. The bearded lady and the strongman trade heads, replacing her beard with a magnificent moustache.

The piggy eyes of the Ringmaster glare at him from the shade of the top hat.

RINGMASTER: You ruined everything!!!
RINGMASTER: I come forth only for the Bard!
RINGMASTER: I am the living face of all his sins!
RINGMASTER: His rage! His pride! His ego! His lust for power!

KNIGHT: UHHHH

From high above the highwire, the seventh gate lights up, and a distant roar and an approaching honk are heard, and the strangest battlecry in the history of paradox space.

MONK: wHaT iT iS, bItChTiTs!
KNIGHT: OH GOD
RINGMASTER: Load this one into the cannon! He comes!!

The Scar of Bacchus unfurls his whip.

Tycloleered

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